A useful note for becoming a person...

I came across a book titled "Better time management" a few days ago...apart from other things I learnt something very useful to me which I would like to share in this blog..

The difference between assertiveness , aggression and non-assertion...

Aggressive behavior:
If you:
1. Deal with the issues in a "I win you lose manner".
2. Magnify disagreements and play down agreement.
3. State your opinion as a "fact".
4. Insist on the rightness and won't discuss opinions.
5. Dismiss other people's ideas/opinions/values as worthless.
6. Deal with differences of opinion with sarcasm and hostility.

Non Assertive behavior:
If you:
1.Dismiss your ideas/virtues/opinions as worthless or less important than others'.
2.When you don't openly disagree but don't do what the other person now expects you to do.
3. When you express anger or hostility indirectly through acts of sabotage rather than openly.
4. When you express your views apologetically.
5. when you don't make decisions coz you might hurt/offend someone.

Both the attitudes are clearly depicting extremes. Another attitude which lies between the two and, to me, is the best course of action.

Assertiveness:

Assertivenesss means understanding your rights and standing up for them without infringing the rights of others.

You are being assertive when you:

1. Accept that both you and others have rights to their own opinions/ideas/values, and that these may be different as well...
2.... and that sometimes they are not right or wrong, but simply different.
3. Can express your honest opinion without it leading to a conflict.
4. Can disagree with others and have them disagree with you without it leading to a conflict.
5. Believe in your own self-worth.

I choose to be assertive...lets see how far I go!!

Forced by the world...to be someone else!

There is something in me, a special affinity for children...I feel they are the purest beings on earth..a true reflection of you, me and everyone when we were created and sent to this battlefield...
There is sure a child in me even now..A child who wants to accept every person she comes across as a "nice" person...full of virtues...particularly harmless..

But unfortunately we, who call ourselves "adults" have adulterated this heavenly environment..There are selfish people, who teach you to be "selfish" lest you lose the everyday battles..(Well of lately I have settled on the fact that its not bad to be "selfish"- thanks to ayn rand)..Then there are people who take advantage of your genuinity..Play with it like a toy and always take your goodness "for granted"..So much so that you literally have to run for your life, protect yourself and all that lies within...

The winners are those who look after themselves before anyone else, think about themselves before anything else...Well I certainly don't oppose that school of thought ;but it hurts me to see individuals who go out of their way for others to be ultimately the last ones to complete the "blind" race and be termed as "foolish" by the so-called winners.

These things keep killing the child in me...a child who wants to remain innocent forever, who wants to see things as they are..who wants to love unconditionally like a child, laugh carelessly ,cry away the pain, paint beautiful dreams, pray to God not for favours but because he created me, be convinced of having people around who genuinely care, and never keep a grudge against anyone...

But true as it is, this is too much to expect from a world like this...Keep protecting yourself from people and their ill intentions, "dont" love selflessly, you never know when you would be taken advantage of.Keep judging everyone all the time,you never know what he/she must be upto , "dont" be innocent coz that would make you "foolish"..

Too much to extract from the child in me!

I wish I were a kid...